Welcome to the enemy.

This is what I will memorize for my presentation.

50 or more Guidelines extracted from Strunk and White:

SET 1 - Elementary rules of usage.

1. Form the possessive singular of nouns by adding an 's.
2. In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction.
3. Enclose parenthetic expressions between commas.
4. Place a comma before a conjunction.
5. Do not join independent clauses with a comma.
6. Do not break sentences in two.
7. Use a colon after an independent clause to introduce a list of particulars, an appositive, an amplification, or an illustrative quotation.
8. Use a dash to set off an abrupt break or interruption and to announce a long appositive or summary.
9. The number of the subject determines the number of the verb.
10. Use the proper case of pronoun
11. A participial phrase at the beginning of a sentence must refer to the grammatical subject.

Set 2 - Elementary principles of Composition

12. Choose a suitable design and hold to it.
13. Make the paragraph the unit of composition.
14. Use the active voice.
15. Put statements in positive form.
16. Use definite, specific, concrete language
17. Omit needless words.
18. Avoid a succession of loose sentences.
19. Express coordinate ideas in similar form.
20. Keep related words together.
21. In summaries, keep to one tense.
22. Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end.

Set 3 - A few Matters of Form.

23. Colloquialisms
24. Exclamations
25. Headings
26. Hyphen
27. Margins
28. Numerals
29. Parenthesis
30. Quotations
31. References
32. Syllabication
33. Titles

Set 4 - A Few Matters of Style

34. Place yourself in the background.
35. Write in a way that comes naturally.
36. Work from a suitable design.
37. Write with nouns and verbs.
38. Revise and rewrite.
39. Do not overwrite.
40. Do not overstate.
41. Avoid the use of modifiers.
42. Do not affect a breezy manner.
43. Use orthodox spelling.
44. Do not explain too much.
45. Do not construct awkward adverbs.
46. Make sure the reader knows who is speaking.
47. Avoid fancy words.
48. Do not use dialect unless your ear is good.
49. Be clear.
50. Do not inject opinion.
51. Use figures of speech sparingly.
52. Do not take shortcuts at the cost of clarity.
53. Avoid foreign languages.
54. Prefer the standard to the offbeat.


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I just got done copying these fifty four things from the book and now I'm feeling a bit silly, so I will now write like a total jackass. If you care about literacy in any form, please stop reading now.

Also, the above passage has broken all manner of copywrite laws. Please, Longman Publishing, don't sue me.

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Dear Tai,

In the course of human events there comes a time to ignore your grammar teachers and forget how to read and write. And this is what I strive for. A total destruction of human literacy. In order to accomplish this we must understand our enemies. In this case, we have secured the enemy's manifesto, their bible, their creed. This has come in the form of Strunk and White's Elements of Style.

Within this heretical text, I have divided their dogma into 4 categories which all members of the "erudite commission of anti-letters and print" should place in their brain pans post haste.

These categories will serve to subdivide the work in the same way that a musician will break down the structure of a song prior to learning it (think arpeggio practice or etude memorization). Then because a structure has four walls, these will line the walls of a room. This space shall be called your memory cave. Associate each rule with a prop or compelling image and then move to the next one. Through these images you shall know not just the content of the enemy's battle plan, but the order that they intend to enact it.

-Colonel Brain-bottom